Right Hand Man - A Playlist for Kniles

A/N: Kniles is a very loyal friend and hopelessly in love with Zi. He's a sweet guy with a seemingly endless supply of optimism. Here's a list of songs I put together that make me think of him. - Rachel

Right Hand Man - A Playlist for Kniles

1. Leeward Side - Josh Pyke
"I have bound myself to your bearing. My love is a nesting bird, lodged in the breast of her."

2. Follow the Sun - Xavier Rudd
"Tomorrow's a new day for everyone, a brand new moon and a brand new sun."

3. Everybody - Ingrid Michaelson
"Happy is the heart that still feels pain. Darkness drains and light will come again."

4. Shine - Benjamin Francis Leftwich
"I hope you find what you're looking for so your heart is warm forever more."

5. Can't Help Falling in Love - Ingrid Michaelson
"Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you."

6. Imagine - Jack Johnson
(I chose the Jack Johnson cover of this song because Jack Johnson seems very Kniles-like to me.)
"You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one."

7. Shining - X Ambassadors
"I'll hold you closer if you're going supernova."

8. Sort Of - Ingrid Michaelson
"Baby, you've got the sort of laugh that waters me, and makes me grow tall and strong and proud."

9. Better Together - Jack Johnson
"It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving. I'll tell you one thing, it's always better when we're together."

10. Resolution - Matt Corby
"Control your fear. It's clear that you do not know where you're going to."

11. Take it From Me - The Weepies
"What can I compare you to? I window the sun shines through."

12. Only Love - Ben Howard
"Darling, you're with me, always around me."

13. Gravity - Sarah Bareilles
"You hold me without touch, keep me without chains."

14. I Got You - Jack Johnson
"I don't need nothing more than you."

Modern TROUF: Fatherhood, Chapter 2

Fatherhood, Chapter 2

Another day on his own in the apartment. Alaster was pretty sure he always complained about not being able to just lay around at home all day when he had a job. That was just what you did when you were working, you wished you were home not working. Now that he had all the time in the world to lay around and not work, he found himself bored out of his skull.

Sure, he could watch Netflix. There were plenty of shows he hadn't seen yet but he was having a hard time investing himself in any of them. It was like it took too much effort to start a new series. He was about to give up on refilling his coffee cup too, since that was also too much work. Then again, coffee was a necessity. Alaster eyed his empty mug with a frown for a moment before pushing himself up off the couch to refill it.

Once in a standing position, he kind of remembered why standing was a good idea. The urge to flop back down on the couch was still there but he resisted. Walking from the living room to the kitchen for more coffee was a good idea. Naps were also a good idea. No, coffee was better. He made his way to the kitchen counter and poured the last of the perked coffee into his mug. Sipping at it, he absently set about perking another pot. He was going to need it.

Blue had mentioned something about going over to her mother's house for supper tonight, and Alaster was dreading it. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just Flower, even if Blue's mother tended to fuss over Alaster as though he was a small child. She was a nice enough lady and she was a good cook. But he suspected that Blue's brothers were going to be there as well. Bigelow was alright. Ardan was kind of intimidating, if Alaster was being honest with himself. And not very forgiving of his sister's deadbeat boyfriend.

Now that he was upright, it seemed a shame to sit back down again. He knew if he did, he wouldn't get back up until he had to get more coffee or needed to take a piss. Speaking of taking a piss, now that he thought about it... Leaving his coffee in the kitchen – because no sane person took their coffee to the bathroom with them, that was disgusting – he headed to the bathroom to relieve himself.

He remembered Blue telling him to clean up the bathroom sink the other day and mused on his while thoroughly washing his hands.

It was getting rather crowded on the sink counter, he had to admit. He didn't even use half the stuff he'd left there, he just hardly ever bothered to put things away. Grabbing up the wastebasket, he threw away most of it. He did gather up the scattered emery boards, because those were still useful. He yanked open the cabinet drawer to drop them in, and something caught his attention.

Frowning, he picked up the item that had caught his eye. A very undignified squawk escaped him when he realized what it was.

It was a pregnancy test. There was a pregnancy test in the sink cabinet. It was a used pregnancy test too. It had two lines on it. Fuck, what did two lines mean? Alaster didn't know, he'd never considered what pregnancy test results looked like. It wasn't, like, a little pink plus sign. Did that mean it was negative? If it was negative, why hadn't Blue just thrown it away?

That was when it really sank in for him that the pregnancy test belonged to Blue. He dropped it like it was a venomous snake. No, absolutely not, Blue could not be pregnant. They were always careful. She was on birth control, wasn't she? But that stuff didn't always work, he did know that much. Oh fuck, what was he supposed to do if Blue was pregnant?

Okay, he was getting the cart before the horse. He still didn't even know what the result on this thing was. He pulled out his phone and typed his question into google search, since he couldn't bring himself to ask Siri out loud how to read pregnancy tests.

A few minutes later, he realized that what he was looking at was definitely a positive result. As it turned out, there were other types of pregnancy tests that gave less convoluted results, and Alaster had to wonder why Blue hadn't gotten one of those. Hell, why hadn't she gotten a few different brands? Didn't they do that in romantic comedies? It seemed like a good idea. This was something you wanted to be certain about. You needed to know it was definitely true before you scared the shit out of your boyfriend with it.

Except, there was really no doubting that second visible line on the test. There was always a chance that it could still be wrong but Alaster was pretty sure he didn't have that kind of luck.

Now seemed like a good time to bust out that bottle of whiskey. He headed back to the kitchen in a daze, intending to collect the liquor, but stopped himself from opening the cabinet. He was supposed to visit Blue's family tonight and he needed to pretend he hadn't just stumbled upon life-altering news. If he was sauced, that might be difficult. He wondered how long that test had been laying in that drawer. Maybe Blue had just taken it last night. Maybe she'd known for days and just hadn't bothered to tell him.

Not that he blamed her for being nervous about telling him, because there was no way he was ever going to take news like this well. Not because he hated kids or anything – really, he thought kids were okay – but because Alaster knew that he had no business being a father.

There were lots of reasons why he couldn't be a parent. He was a recovering alcoholic, for one, and a chain smoker. He couldn't hold down a job. He was immature at best, a real asshole at worst. Not to mention, he had no fucking clue what being a father was even supposed to mean. He'd hated his own father, and Aster had been a shitty dad. That was putting it mildly.

They weren't even married. Logically, Alaster knew that two people didn't have to be married to have a kid, but his sense of propriety was railing against the idea. He had to marry her now. Not that he hadn't intended to do that eventually anyway, but he'd hoped it would be some time in the distant future when he'd actually gotten his shit together. This wasn't how things were supposed to go.

Forgoing the whiskey, he took out his phone again and sent a quick text message to his sister.

I think blues pregnant help.

Her response came in mere seconds later.

Alaster, are you drunk?

Scowling, Alaster started to type a response but his phone began to ring. He pinched the bridge of his nose and answered his sister's call, knowing that if he didn't, she'd be worried and upset. Texting her had probably been a bad idea. A long time ago, he'd sworn to stop making Fae deal with his shit. After everything their parents had done to her, she didn't deserve to have to take care of Alaster too.

The thing was, he really didn't have anyone else to call with this. He didn't have, well, any friends outside of the circle he and Blue shared.

“If I wanted to talk to you on the phone, I would have called you,” he said grumpily in greeting.

“I had to make sure you really weren't drunk,” Fae responded. “What do you mean, you think Blue's pregnant?”

“I found a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom.” Alaster ran his hand through his hair. “It's obviously not mine or Roger's, so I'm guessing it belongs to her, yes. I have no fucking clue what I'm supposed to do, tell me what I'm supposed to do.”

For a moment, there was only silence on the other end. Finally, Fae said, “Oh my God, Alaster. I'm... Congratulations?”

“Congratulations?” Alaster felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over his head. He definitely did not feel like congratulations were in order.

“Is that not what you wanted me to say?” Fae sounded genuinely concerned. “I'm sorry, I know this has to be scary for you.”

“Scary? It's fucking terrifying!”

“I know,” she soothed, “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said congratulations. Have you asked Blue about it yet?”

Alaster let himself calm down a bit. He was feeling defensive but that was no excuse for taking it out on Fae. And letting himself go into a full-blown panic wasn't a good idea either. He needed to remain calm and logical but that was easier said than done. His free hand gripped a handful of his hair in a punishing grasp as he attempted to keep himself grounded.

“No, I... She's at work. Why didn't she tell me herself?”

“Maybe she only just found out,” Fae reasoned. “If it were me, I'd need some time to accept the news myself before I told anyone else.”

“I'm not 'anyone else,' I'm her boyfriend,” Alaster snapped in response. “This is the sort of thing I need to know.”

“Why, so you can hyperventilate about it in your apartment by yourself?” Fae asked. “Do you need me to come over? I just got home last night but if you need me, all you have to do is say the word.”

Those words solidified Alaster's convictions to never again inconvenience his sister for his own sake. He'd done it too often when they were younger, had stood by and watched while their parents did it, and he owed her too much to ever repeat it.

“I'm fine,” he said. “Well, I'm not fine, I'm freaking the fuck out, but I don't need you to come over. I just... I had to talk to someone about it.”

“Not that I'm not happy to talk to you, but you could call Blue and talk to her about it.”

“No, she's at work,” Alaster said dismissively. He wasn't going to call Blue while she was working and argue with her about this over the phone. He knew they were going to argue, because arguing was what they did, and even if he tried to hold his temper, he was going to stick his foot in his mouth. It would be better if that all happened at home. Also, the idea of actually asking Blue about it was strangely terrifying. “I'll talk to her when she gets home.”

“If you say so.” Fae seemed reluctant to agree, but she seldom pushed an issue if Alaster made his stance on it clear. “For what it's worth, I think you'd be a great dad.”

Bile rose up in Alaster's throat and he had to control the impulse to vomit before he responded. “I don't know how you could think that. We both know I'm the last person on the planet who needs to be a parent. I can't even take care of myself.”

“Please don't start with this again. You've been doing so well, don't do this to yourself. Of course you can take care of yourself. And you could take care of a baby too. If you're just not ready, that's one thing, but don't let what Aster did to us keep you from having a family, I'm begging you.”

She left unspoken that it had kept her from having one. Fae was, in general, a saner, healthier person than Alaster, and if she couldn't allow herself to have a family, it seemed hypocritical of her to insist that Alaster not make the same mistake.

Nonetheless, the idea that he was letting Aster fuck up his life from beyond the grave was abhorrent enough for Alaster to put some actual stock in his sister's request.

“What if it's true?” he asked. “I don't know anything about taking care of a kid.”

“Just think about what Aster did, and always do the opposite,” Fae replied. “It won't be the same, okay? He was a bad person and he didn't love us. Of course you won't be like that. You love Blue, don't you?”

Alaster mumbled an uncomfortable confirmation.

“There, see? It's already different. This baby is going to be part Blue. Of course you're going to love it.”

“I know that,” Alaster hissed. “That's not the problem. What if I fuck things up anyway? It'll be worse. At least Aster didn't feel guilty about being a horrible bastard to us.”

“Alaster Leslie Maxwell Gwillimen, you tell me right now if you think you would ever raise a hand to this child and I will call Blue and tell her to protect herself.”

Fae's voice was stern, and it held an edge to it that Alaster was not used to having directed at himself. He straightened up in his seat, feeling like a chastised child.

“I... No, I wouldn't,” he replied with honesty. “I could never...”

“I know.” Fae's voice became gentle again. “That's what I'm trying to tell you. It's not the same.”

“Shit,” Alaster muttered. “I know you're right, it's just...”

“I can still come over,” Fae offered. “I don't mind.”

“No, it's fine, I'm okay.” He still wasn't keen on interrupting her whole day for this. Besides, he was confident that he would be fine on his own. What he needed right now was a cigarette. He could open the kitchen window and have a smoke, which seemed like a good idea, since he wasn't keen on going out alone, even if it was just down to the parking lot.

“I'll talk to you later, alright?” he said, already reaching for his cigarettes and lighter lying on the coffee table. “I need to think about all of this.”

“As long as you're thinking, not just drinking,” said Fae, as though her admonishing had ever stopped him before.

“Right,” he said and hung up the phone.

–

Blue came home that evening to a strange sight. The living room was spotlessly clean and the kitchen was much the same way. Standing in the kitchen, wearing rubber gloves and cleaning the counter with a sponge, was Alaster.

It wasn't that Alaster never cleaned, but Blue knew that when he cleaned, it was because he was trying not to drink. The kitchen window was open and an ashtray full of cigarette butts was perched on the sill. An empty cigarette package lay beside it.

“How was your day?” she asked as she deposited her bag and car keys on the kitchen table. Alaster turned to look at her and he looked oddly pale. “You could have called me and asked me to pick up cigarettes for you, or walked down to the gas station. Are you feeling alright?”

“Oh,” he said, sounding startled. “It's fine.”

“Well, we can stop on our way to Mom's this evening,” Blue offered, though this was mostly her way of reminding him that he'd agreed to dinner with her mother.

“Yes,” he agreed, “we could do that.”

He was avoiding making eye contact with her, which was unusual. In general, his behavior was strange. It felt to Blue as though they were on the verge of an argument, only she didn't know what they were going to argue about. If Alaster had known about the baby, she was confident that they would have argued about that, but otherwise things had been uncommonly good between them.

“Oh, and Ardan's going to be there,” Blue added, watching her boyfriend carefully to gauge his reaction.

“I figured,” said Alaster. He wrung out the sponge in the sink and peeled off his rubber gloves.

“Did something happen today that you're not telling me about?” she asked.

Alaster looked at her and finally met her gaze. “... No, nothing happened. What about you? Is there anything you're not telling me?”

The question caught her off guard. Did he know about the baby? Impossible. She'd only known about it herself for a few days, had only gone to a doctor to confirm day before yesterday, and she hadn't told anyone else about it except for her mother.

She gazed back at him, wondering what he might be referring to, trying to decide if now was the right moment to drop this bomb on him.

“I'm pregnant,” she said after a moment. It was better this way, like ripping off a band-aid.

“Why didn't you tell me?” Alaster snapped in immediate response.

“Well, I'm telling you now,” Blue replied, feeling a bit offended by his reaction. When was she supposed to have told him? When she first suspected? When she'd taken the home pregnancy test? Perhaps after her doctor's appointment would have been a good idea, but she'd still been digesting the information herself.

It was a terrifying notion, to know that a new life was growing inside of her body. Blue had always sort of wanted kids, but in an abstract way, like perhaps she'd come across an orphan by accident or something. She still wasn't certain that going through with the pregnancy was a good idea. Aside from all the horror stories she'd heard about childbirth, actually having a child that would be her responsibility was an intimidating notion. She wasn't convinced that she would be any good at raising a kid. She wasn't sure that she wanted to have something else to take care of that would inevitably take her attention away from Alaster.

“You could have at least hidden the test thing,” Alaster said, looking disgusted. “Don't you have to piss on those things? And you just left it laying in the sink cabinet drawer. I picked it up with my bare hands.”

“Oh!” Blue brightened when she realized why he was upset. “You found the test. You never put anything away, I didn't think you'd look in there. And I didn't tell you to pick it up, did I?”

“That's not the point,” Alaster declared. “Why the hell didn't you tell me that you're...!”

He trailed off, as though unwilling to say the word out loud, and his face turned bright red. Blue noticed that his hands were shaking, ever so slightly.

“Pregnant?” She supplied for him.

“Yes!”

“I didn't know for sure until a couple of days ago. I probably should have told you right after I took that test, but in my defense, you don't handle news like this very well.” She could tell by the sour look that crossed Alaster's face that he wasn't impressed with her reasoning, but it was true. He'd been doing well lately, but that just meant that before long, he was due for another downturn. She was just trying to keep him in a good place for as long as possible.

It probably seemed to him like she treated him like a child, and that wasn't too far from the truth, really. She didn't think of him as a child, at any rate, but she saw it as her responsibility to help him care for himself. He wasn't good at taking care of himself. Some people weren't, she supposed.

“I had a right to know,” Alaster grumbled. He was hurt and offended, she knew. “Did you think I couldn't handle it?”

“It's not that you can't handle it,” said Blue earnestly. “But you have a tendency to lean on the bottle when things get too hard, don't you?”

He stood a little straighter, scowling. “I'll have you know that I haven't touched a fucking drop all day.”

Blue was moderately impressed by this. It spoke well of him that he hadn't drowned his sorrows instead of cleaning the apartment. There was alcohol in the apartment. She didn't try to keep it away from him. After all, he was his own person and he had to make his own choices. Although it sometimes felt like it would be easier to put a foot down and ban him from the booze, she knew better.

Her father used to say you could lead a horse to water but you couldn't make him drink. She thought that probably meant something like you could show a person a better way but you couldn't force them down that road. All she ever did for Al in this regard was hold out a hand to him. He never took it, of course, but he followed at his own pace, even if he took the occasional detour.

“I'm glad,” she said, allowing a smile. “I meant to tell you sooner. I'm sorry.”

“Whatever, I don't care.” He sat down heavily in a kitchen chair and started at the wall. “I'm not ready to have a kid.”

Blue tried to ignore the little pain in her chest at hearing those words. She'd expected them, of course. This was one of the reasons she hadn't gathered up enough courage to tell him yet. And she knew he didn't mean it so unkindly as it sounded. She understood because she was afraid of having a kid too, but she couldn't help that she loved it already. It was Alaster's child, after all. She knew it would be a wonderful kid, clever and creative and driven.

Nonetheless, she'd considered terminating the pregnancy. What she loved right now, she knew, was the idea of the child, not the child itself, which could hardly be considered a child at present. This didn't have to happen right now. They could still wait a while, be in a better place, before they took this step. They were both still young.

“There's a clinic,” she said carefully, “just on the other side of town. We don't have to have a kid right now, babe.”

At this, he turned to look at her, alarmed. “What are you saying? You want to kill it?”

“Easy does it.” She held up her hands. “What you want matters just as much as what I want, is all I'm saying. It's just that if you're not ready to have a kid, maybe we shouldn't have one yet. Maybe I'm not ready for it either. It's not far along. I could get this taken care of and our lives can go back to normal.”

“Since when were our lives normal?” he snorted, but he still looked disturbed. “Seems cruel...”

“It's not,” she assured him. “Maybe it would be cruel to have a child before we're ready.”

“Can I think about it?” he asked. His face had gone from red to green.

Blue didn't point out to him that she was the one who needed to do the most thinking. And she didn't tell him he didn't have a say in what she did with her body. She was confident he understood that her body was her own, but this was a decision they needed to make as a couple, for the sake of their relationship. She had no desire to make him feel like he didn't have any control over something that could affect his life in such a massive way.

“Of course,” she said, walking over to him to lean down and kiss his forehead. “Of course, Al.”

–

Blue's mother met them at the front door, all smiles, and kissed her daughter's cheek first and then kissed Alaster's cheek as well. She didn't seem to mind when his expression of horror when she pulled back. Flower had never been much bothered by Alaster's gruff manner. Much like she might have teased a reticent child, she reached up and ruffled his hair.

“Goodness me, sweetie, you're looking skinnier than the last time I saw you,” she fussed over Alaster as she beckoned them both into the house. “Hasn't my daughter been feeding you well enough?”

Instead of arguing with her mother, Blue just rolled her eyes and smirked at Alaster. Alaster was not reassured. Flower always acted like he looked like he was starving to death, and she insisted on making him eat extra when they came over for dinner, as though she couldn't trust Blue to make sure he was eating enough. It seemed like everyone they knew saw Alaster as an invalid.

And what business did invalids have trying to raise children? Alaster couldn't stop thinking about what Blue had said earlier, about how it would be cruel to have a child before they were ready. What that really meant was that Blue didn't think Alaster was ready for a kid either. And that was fine, he understood why she thought that, and he didn't disagree. For some reason though, the idea of Blue getting an abortion because Alaster was still a mess really didn't sit well with him.

That morning, he'd been distraught at the idea of having a child. Now, it was almost like Blue was telling him he wasn't worthy of their child, at least not yet. That hurt. It had kept him quiet, lost in thought, since their conversation in the kitchen.

Blue's younger brother Ardan was lounging on the living room couch. Despite being four years younger than Alaster, Ardan was a lot taller. Alaster didn't consider himself to be short but he was only 5'8” to Ardan's solid six feet.

The younger Grass child glanced up at Alaster when he stepped into the room. He nodded his head by way of a greeting. Alaster nodded back and sat down on the opposite end of the couch. It occurred to him that if Ardan found out that Alaster had gotten his sister pregnant, the other man might get rather angry with him, even if it really wasn't Alaster's fault.

Then again, if Blue was thinking seriously about terminating the pregnancy, she probably hadn't told her family about it. Well, perhaps she'd spoken with her mother but she wouldn't have told Ardan about it.

Ardan had the television on and was watching some old black and white western film. It looked dreadfully boring and Alaster could already see himself falling asleep on the couch before dinner. Fuck, he was bored lately.

He was home alone doing nothing every day. Blue wouldn't even have to quit her job if she wanted to have the kid, she could just leave it with Alaster while she was at work. He didn't especially want to take care of a baby all day but it wasn't like he wasn't capable. Or maybe Blue really did think he wasn't and that was that. Maybe he was overthinking all of this. He had a tendency to do that.

“Ardie, sweetheart,” Flower called from the kitchen. “You might need to check on the cow again.”

“Sure,” Ardan called back and he turned to look at Alaster and turned off the television. “Alright, Al, come with me. The cow's been in labor all evening and I might need help pulling a calf. Think you can handle that?”

Alaster did not think he could handle that.

“I doubt I'd be much help,” he said, displaying his skinny arms to prove his point.

“I insist,” said Ardan, and what could Alaster say after that? All he could do was follow Ardan, as per the other man's instructions, and pray to a nonexistent god that he wouldn't really have to help 'pull a calf.'

The Grass homestead wasn't huge – about 25 acres of land or so – but Flower kept a few animals, primarily a Jersey cow and a couple of goats that she milked by hand. Alaster did not pretend to understand the first thing about farming. Luckily, Blue had never insisted that he learn. Ardan was a different story. He considered Alaster to be completely useless on a good day. When they were forced to interact, Ardan often came up with jobs he needed Alaster to help him with, all of which fell far outside of Alaster's admittedly limited skill set.

The cow was fussing in the barn where she'd been pinned up in a stall. Alaster grimaced when he got a look at her. The calf's feet were already sticking out and the poor creature seemed pained. This was not particularly something Alaster had ever wanted to see.

Ardan stepped into the stall and seemed to observe the cow with a critical eye for a few long moments before he sighed and said, “Yep, I think we're gonna have to pull it.”

“Are you sure?” Alaster questioned, desperate to get out of whatever it was this job entailed. He was certain it was going to be gross and he was going to hate it. Most things Ardan asked him to help with fell within those parameters, like changing the oil in a car or cleaning out the chicken shed.

“Come on, make yourself useful,” said Ardan.

Reluctantly, Alaster stepped into the stall as well, staring at the cow with undisguised disgust. She seemed equally perturbed by his presence and took a step away from him. Her breathing was labored, and Alaster wondered how long she'd been standing out here trying to give birth to her offspring.

“I'll grab one leg, you grab the other,” Ardan instructed and he grasped one of the protruding feet, still covered with what Alaster supposed was the amniotic sack.

He hesitated before grabbing the other foot, swallowing down the feeling of nausea he could feel growing. “You're sure it won't just come out on its own?”

“Alaster.” Ardan caught his gaze and held it. “Grab that foot and pull when I tell you to pull.”

Closing his eyes, Alaster grabbed the disgusting foot, and on Ardan's command, he pulled.

It seemed the cow hadn't needed much help because the calf slipped free after only a couple of harsh tugs from Ardan and Alaster – primarily Ardan, because Alaster was not very strong, something he had long ago learned to accept about himself. It was horrifically gross, covered in gunk and slime, and Alaster sprang away when it slid to the ground, already rubbing his hands on his jeans.

The cow started licking her disgusting offspring and Alaster was obliged to turn away and be sick in a corner.

“If you can't handle this, what are you going to do if you ever have kids?” asked Ardan, which struck a little too close to home at present.

“Not watch,” said Alaster in disgust. “They've got doctors to pull the kid out, right?”

Amusement showed on Ardan's face.

“Is that all there is to it?” Alaster asked, indicating the cow and calf, because it seemed like it had happened all of a sudden and he'd expected it to take longer.

“Well, I've been here all day watching her,” Ardan replied. “She went into labor early this morning. I'd say she's had a pretty rough day. I certainly wouldn't want to be in her place.”

Alaster wouldn't have wanted to be in her place either.

“It's very messy,” he commented, wondering if it was like that for people too. Admittedly, he knew very little on the subject and had never cared to educate himself about it. Did women spend all day in labor too? He did know that labor pains were supposed to be absolutely terrible. If Blue decided to have this kid, was she going to spend hours in pain when she went into labor like this poor cow?

“Sure, it seems that way,” agreed Ardan. “Here in a bit, she'll pass the afterbirth and then eat it.”

“What?” Alaster thought he might be sick again. “That's horrifying.”

“Breakfast of champions,” Ardan replied.

“Is it easier for people?” Alaster couldn't help but ask. He had a feeling Ardan was going to make merciless fun of him for it but the guy was a med student, so he knew this sort of thing and Alaster didn't have a clue about any of it. “I mean, does it take as long?”

“Longer, sometimes.” Ardan busied himself with fetching a fresh bucket of water for the cow while he talked. The cow seemed grateful, immediately sticking her nose in the cold liquid to take a long drink. “I stayed with my cousin a couple of years ago when she had her first. She nearly crushed my hand, she squeezed it so hard. Let me tell you, men have it easy. Women do all of the real work.”

So, not only was Alaster not fit to take care of a child, if he asked Blue to have the kid, he would also be putting her through immense pain. No matter how he looked at this, Alaster couldn't figure out a way to make it okay that he didn't want Blue to have an abortion. It was her body, her life, and where did he get off telling her what to do with it?

He wasn't even sure why he was thinking about asking her to keep it. When he found that test in the bathroom, it hadn't occurred to him that Blue could end the pregnancy and there wouldn't be a child after all. He'd spent the whole day cleaning the kitchen, resigning himself to fatherhood, knowing there was no way out. And now that he'd been presented with a way out, he didn't know what he really wanted.

“You've been with Blue for a while now, Al.” Ardan always shortened Alaster's name, like Blue and the rest of the Grass family. They were obsessed with nicknames. It had been a long time since Alaster had corrected any of them, though once he'd done it every time one of them called him 'Al.' “What gives, man? Are you planning on marrying her any time soon?”

Oh, Alaster really hoped that Ardan didn't know Blue was pregnant and hadn't brought him out here to murder him for dishonoring his sister by knocking her up before they were married.

“Hadn't really thought about it,” Alaster lied. He glanced at the cow, gagging when he saw that it was contentedly licking off the remnants of the amniotic sack still clinging to the calf. “Perhaps we should go back in and tell them the cow's come out of it alright?”

Ardan smirked at Alaster's discomfort but didn't object to going back to the house. Once they were back inside, Alaster made a beeline for the bathroom and scrubbed his hands clean with hot water and soap.

As usual in the Grass household, dinner was a lively affair during which Flower fussed over everyone and the siblings hurled teasing insults at one another across the dining room table. Blue seemed surprisingly cheerful, and Alaster tried to be discreet about staring at her the whole time but he couldn't get over the idea that she was carrying his child inside her body. It seemed unreal. Having children was something that adults did, and Alaster had never in his life felt like a true adult.

After dinner, they said their goodbyes and piled back into Blue's rundown Toyota car. Alaster still hadn't figured out if he had the right to ask Blue to keep the baby, let alone how to ask it.

“You've been very quiet all evening,” Blue commented, eyes on the road as she drove. “Is it about, you know, the baby?”

“Well... Yes.” Alaster scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. “I mean, I don't know. I guess. All of a sudden, you're pregnant, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about that.”

Blue hummed her acknowledgment of his struggle. “Me either, really. I don't know what the right thing to do might be. I don't know if it's right to... to want to have it, considering everything else. I don't want to make a mistake.”

“So, you do want to have it?” Alaster tried to play it cool but a note of urgency still crept into his voice.

She glanced over at him for just a moment and then turned her gaze back to the road. Her knuckles tightened on the steering wheel.

“Would it be so bad if I did want it?” she asked, her voice soft.

Alaster swallowed around the lump in his throat. He was almost afraid to respond, lest his voice crack and give away how terrified he was of all of this.

“Part you, part me,” Blue continued, sounding wistful. “Poor thing would be doomed, wouldn't it?”

Yeah, it probably would be doomed. Plenty of people were, Alaster supposed. The real question, as Fae had pointed out to him over the phone, was whether or not this child was wanted. If they wanted it, if they loved it, maybe it wouldn't matter if it turned out just as crazy as Alaster was himself.

“I want it,” he blurted out. He felt his face heat up with embarrassment as soon as he said the words, but at last he'd said them and the cat was out of the bag. He didn't look over at Blue, too afraid of what he might see on her face right now. “I know it's not my place, it's your body and all of that, but it's my kid too and I...”

As he'd feared, his voice cracked and he trailed off.

Blue reached over and put her hand on his shoulder. “You mean that, Al?”

He dared to look at her and saw that there was a small, hopeful smile on her face.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, though he was still terrified. “I do mean that.”

“Okay.” Blue nodded, her smile growing. “Then I guess we've got our answer. We're having a baby.”

TBC

The Temple of the Wilderness

A/N: This story, chronologically, takes place after The Elf and the Nelfkin. After spending the first couple of chapters with Zi and Blue, this story introduces Kael and Shadow, the wolves, and also Fae, the banished fairy. - Rachel

The Temple of the Wilderness

Taeyel and Kael were never far apart from one another. They were litter mates and neither had left the other's side since they left their mother's womb. Taeyel was the bigger, stronger pup from the start. Her coat was redder than the other wolves in the pack, marking her as a child favored by Tera. Kael, the younger of the two by a few minutes, had a lighter coat. It was still red, but a far paler shade than Taeyel. Kael was also a runt, far from the most valuable member of the pack, but her sister protected her and saw to her needs, so that she grew to adulthood a sleek, well fed wolf who lurked in her sister's shadow at all times.

Their people were the Red Wolves, who were long ago gifted with sentience and intelligence by Tera. Other beasts deferred to their authority, and they were fair, never killing more prey than they needed and never harming travelers who wandered through their territory. At night, they howled their worship to Tera, a great chorus that echoed through the forest. They lived in harmony with nature, with the give and take of wild things, and though they were predators, they knew compassion.

In the midst of the wolves' territory, there was a natural spring that rested at the bottom of a great mountain and fed into a flourishing stream. This place was the temple of the wilderness, where the beasts came to give reverence to the goddess Tera. The Red Wolves traveled to this spring every day to drink from its pure waters.

That morning, Kael woke with a troubled mind. Her sister had risen before her, leaving her alone in their den. Kael followed her sister's scent out of the den and down to the clearing where the pack gathered each morning before making their daily walk to the temple of the wilderness. The rest of the pack was there already, most with their heads bowed in reverence to the alpha who was addressing them.

The alpha gazed at them with his yellow eyes, somber as always, his presence commanding respect. Kael tucked her tail between her legs and sought out her sister. She gently nudged Taeyel, giving a low whimper to get the other wolf's attention. Her sister glanced at her and her eyes spoke of fondness. Kael's unquiet heart settled a bit. She always felt better at her sister's side.

A tilt of the alpha's head indicated that it was time to go. The pack followed him at a calm, unhurried pace through the forest. Along their path, a dirt trail worn by daily travel, the creatures they met stepped out of their way, always affording the wolves with the utmost respect. In return, the wolves made no attempt to prey on the other creatures traveling to the spring.

Kael trotted along, always behind her sister, for Taeyel's position was much higher that Kael's own. This was not something that Kael minded. In fact, she was filled with pride at her sister's importance in the pack. Taeyel was kind and uncommonly intelligent, a wolf apart from all others. It was an honor to walk behind her, in Kael's mind. For her part, Taeyel never treated Kael as less than her equal.

Though the walk was as serene as ever, Kael could not shake the bad feeling she had. She looked to her sister for any sign that Taeyel also felt uneasy, but could see no indication of it in the other wolf's body language.

“Taeyel,” she called, keeping her voice soft. “I am troubled.”

Taeyel looked back at her, considering her words. “What troubles you, sister?”

“It is hard to explain,” said Kael. “Only I cannot keep from feeling that something is wrong.”

“Stay alert,” Taeyel replied. “I sense nothing myself but your intuition has helped us on more than one occasion.”

A feeling of pride swelled in Kael at her sister's praise. There was little that Kael could contribute to the pack, except as a caregiver for the young pups, but the pups were all grown at present and Kael had only Taeyel for company. To know that Taeyel trusted her intuition was a great comfort to her.

Nonetheless, when they at last reached the temple of the wilderness, nothing seemed out of place. The spring water was clear and fresh, and there were other beasts at the backs already, drinking deeply from the stream. Kael hung back, as was expected of her, to allow her brothers and sisters to drink first. Taeyel gave her an apologetic look as she followed the others to the bank.

Kael did not mind. She was patient and could wait her turn.

From her vantage point, she could observe the many other beasts that drank from the spring. There were small creatures like rabbits and squirrels and lizards that could drink without fear of the predators that shared the space with them. There were two mountain bears, giant creatures with shaggy coats, and there were foxes and weasels too. A herd of deer stood on the bank opposite of Kael's pack and close to the spring's source, a single unicorn drank deeply, its horn shining in the morning sunlight.

This was the temple of the wilderness. Beasts did not fear one another in this place, their hearts made peaceful by the power of Tera that ran in the spring's water. It was late spring and the trees and grass were many rich shades of green. Kael had always loved this place, as did all Red Wolves. To be so close to Tera was a gift.

And yet, even in this holy place, Kael could not shake off that feeling of wrongness that she had woken up with. It wasn't wise to ignore one's intuition, but Kael trusted her pack, and none of the others seemed to sense it. The usual sense of calming peace she felt when visiting the temple of the wilderness did little to ease her discomfort.

A shrill whinny from the unicorn made Kael rise to her feet, her gaze turning to the majestic creature. The unicorn had begun to prance and stamp at the head of the spring. Its body language spoke of fear and the other creatures drinking at the stream soon took notice of its strange behavior. Kael's pack started to back away from the bank, their fur bristling.

It was as though the fear was contagious. Kael could smell it on her fellow wolves. However, her attention was fixed on the unicorn. Its fear and morphed into panic, its cries growing more and more distressed as it reared back, sweat shining on its pristine white coat.

A low growl bubbled up in Kael's throat as she watched, too horrified to look away. Something was happening to the creature. Its flesh seemed to ripple and shift grotesquely. The white of its coat started to change, changing gradually to black as its body morphed into a great, hulking monster of a thing. In a matter of moments, it was no longer recognizable as a unicorn at all. It had taken on the misshapen form of a demon with piercing red eyes.

Kael whimpered and backed away from the stream. Her gaze finally flickered back to her pack. To her horror, she saw that the alpha, as well as many of the other animals gathered on either side of the stream, had started to change as well. The pack began to yip and howl in fear, even Taeyel who was normally brave in the face of adversity, and their fear crippled Kael. She kept backing away until she was hidden from the scene by the forest. She kept miserable watch from the underbrush, hoping against all hope that whatever was happening to the animals would not happen to every member of her pack. To her horror, the mutation spread until even Taeyel was caught up in it. Her sister's body was twisted into the same horrible monster as the unicorn and the other beasts. The howls of the mutated wolves were horrible.

She could not fathom why such a thing had come to pass, and at first she did not understand why it hadn't happened to her as well; for though she stayed hidden in the brush for some time, watching the monsters, she felt no change in her own body. Whatever had changed them must have been in the water, she realized. But the water was pure, a gift from Tera herself. Could it be possible that something had corrupted it?

A great cry rose up among the monsters at the river and Kael watched as they all took off running in the same direction, as though of one mind, a horrible swarm that tore through the forest, hundreds of pairs of red eyes glowing like demonic beacons.

And yet, one monster remained behind. It howled and twisted on the ground, as though it was somehow fighting back against whatever was changing it. With a start, Kael realized that she could still identify the creature by scent. It was Taeyel.

She crept out from the brush, keeping her distance but unwilling to run from her sister. Taeyel sounded as though she was in great pain, and Kael longed to ease her sister's suffering, but could not see how she could help.

Taeyel's red eyes suddenly fixed on Kael, and the monster that her sister had become stood perfectly still for a long moment. Kael was frozen, too scared to move lest that should cause the beast to attack her.

The monster howled again and then it turned from Kael and ran, snarling and spitting as it went.

Kael hesitated for only a moment. The monster had gone in a different direction from the others, and Kael felt certain that this aberrant behavior meant that her sister was trying to regain control of her body.

Following Taeyel's scent, she trailed her sister at a distance.

–

Taeyel's mind was in chaos. Her thoughts were hard to hold onto, as though something was doing its best to wipe away her conscious mind entirely. Her body was in agony, making it even harder to think, but there was something that cut through all of that. It was something that had always called to her, in the back of her mind, but now it was the clearest thing. She had no other choice but to follow it, hoping that somehow it could help her.

She did not know if Kael had followed her. For a moment, she'd locked eyes with her sister and she'd felt a horrible blood lust well up in her. It made her want to fight whatever was happening to her even more. She would not give in to this evil, especially if that meant she would kill her own sister in cold blood. She had always protected Kael, and she would keep doing that, even if the one Kael needed protected from was Taeyel herself.

All she could do was run, run toward the presence that called out to her, and so she did. Despite the overwhelming pain of her twisted, freakish body, she ran. Despite the terrifying blankness trying to overcome her mind, she ran.

It must have been days of that, just trying to outrun the changes being forced upon her. She stumbled and fell many times, but picked herself back up and forced herself onward. If she stopped, somehow she knew that the toxin running in her veins would overcome her completely. So she kept going, clinging to the only thing she had that kept her in control.

She was deep in the heart of the forest when she found it at last. Whatever it was called out to her from the gnarled roots of an ancient tree. Taeyel tore at the roots with her mutant claws, howling desperately, heedless of the wounds she was causing herself as she did so. She knew nothing except that she needed to find whatever the tree was hiding.

At last, her paw touched it and she felt its energy surge through her body again. She surrendered to it, letting her mind at last quiet, and felt her consciousness slip away.

–

Kael lost track of her sister many times, for Taeyel did not stop to rest and Kael simply could not make her body keep going at the same pace. As it was, though she could not keep herself from collapsing in exhaustion from time to time, Kael had not spared the time to hunt and only drank when she was lucky enough to come across a water source by accident. Every time she drank, especially from running water, she feared that whatever had turned the beasts at the temple would infect her as well. So far, she was still unchanged.

Luckily, Taeyel's scent had not changed, despite her body's transformation. Kael soon picked up the trail again each time she lost it. Still, it was days and days of travel, and Kael was slowly wearing down.

As the sun was setting on the eighth day since leaving the temple of the wilderness, Kael found that her sister's scent was growing stronger. Though weary from travel, she pushed herself onward, following it to the base of a great, ancient tree.

Though Kael recognized her sister's scent, the creature she found there was not what she expected. The dark red wolf she'd known since birth was not visible, but neither did Kael find the twisted monster that her sister had become at the spring. Instead, there was a pale, mostly hairless creature, like the travelers Kael had sometimes seen. The creature had a mane of shaggy auburn hair, the same color as Taeyel's fur, and a matching pair of canine ears and a tail. Kael quickly surmised that her sister had undergone yet another transformation.

She nudged the pitiful form but found that Taeyel was fast asleep. With a watchful eye on their surroundings, Kael laid down with her sister and curled around Taeyel's slumbering form, seeking to keep her warm. She rested, but stayed alert and on guard, her ears pricked for the slightest hint of danger.

Taeyel slept through the night and well into the next day.

When she did begin to wake, Kael nudged her sister's cheek with her muzzle and Taeyel turned her face towards her sister's touch on instinct. Her eyes slowly opened and Taeyel saw that they were still golden, like her own.

“Sister,” Kael murmured, gazing back at Taeyel. “Do not be alarmed.”

Her sister's mouth opened but her speech was intelligible. Taeyel flinched at the sound of her own voice and whined, her ears flattening against her head. She shifted her unfamiliar form, off balance with limbs far longer than necessary. Her misshapen right forepaw was curled around something but Kael could not tell what the item was.

Kael rose to her feet, watching her sister with anxious eyes. Aside from her ears and tail, Taeyel resembled a human. Kael had seen humans before, though she had never interacted with one. She understood that they too were gifted with self-awareness, and she had heard that some of them were nearly as intelligent as wolves. Why her sister had transformed into one, Kael did not know, but she favored this form over the previous one, at least.

On the other paw, Taeyel did not seem so forgiving of her new body. The former wolf brought her now human hands to her chest, still clinging to something, and howled in misery. Even her howl was different, distorted by a human throat, and Taeyel's bare cheeks were painted with tears.

Unsure of what else to do to comfort her, Kael licked her sister's face and nuzzled her hair. She whimpered mournfully to show that she felt Taeyel's pain and confusion. There was no explanation that Kael could see for what had happened.

Taeyel lifted her right hand and slowly uncurled her long fingers. For the first time, Kael glimpsed the item her sister had clung to with such ferocity. A round green crystal rested in Taeyel's palm. It was plain and unadorned, but its beauty was still captivating. Kael peered into it, wondering where her sister had found it. She glanced at the torn roots and disturbed soil at the base of the great tree and surmised that Taeyel must have dug it up.

“What is it?” Kael queried, though she didn't have much hope that Taeyel knew the answer herself.

Her sister looked back at her with a lost expression. She opened her mouth again and spoke carefully formed words. “It... called to me. It brought me back.”

The words were in the common tongue, not the wolf tongue, which Kael could understand but could not speak. It seemed as though the opposite was now true for Taeyel. At least they could still understand one another.

“What's wrong with me?” Taeyel whispered, staring down at her body in horror. “Why has this happened?”

“I don't know,” Kael replied honestly. She couldn't have begun to explain it. But to find her sister alive and well had been more than she could have hoped for after seeing what had taken place in the temple of the wilderness, and she was grateful. Regardless of her shape, Taeyel was the one Kael cared about the most.

–

It was a normal, if uneventful evening for Fae, the outcast slave of Vana Vale. She was a fairy woman of 25 years, though she'd never been recognized by her family as such. It had been many years now since she'd been cast out and forced to survive on her own. Since she had been a slave before, she had not seen being cast out as such a horrible punishment. It gave her the opportunity to learn how to use a sword. She was strong, despite her diminutive stature and lack of fairy magic.

The fairies were a reclusive, superstitious people. Fae had been obliged to serve her birth family as a slave until the head of the family, a man she refused to refer to as her father, had banished her from the city. She held no love for the place and people she came from, but she had learned over the years to keep her anger from consuming her. The ultimate act of defiance against Aster Gwillimen, the man who'd enslaved and banished her, was to thrive and achieve happiness in life.

In her search for things to bring her happiness, she'd soon found that helping others in need brought her the most joy. The realm was a mostly lawless place, though it had once been quite different. There were many isolated villages that had little defense from marauders and thieves, and Fae was happy to use her skills as a swordsman where she could to defend good people from harm. In this, she had found a purpose and and a sense of peace.

The last people she'd helped had gifted her with some wild game, a couple of plump rabbits for roasting, and so she'd set up camp and built a fire to do just that. The coneys were already gutted, so she made quick work of skinning them out and cut a branch to spit them on over her campfire. Soon, she was enjoying the scent of roasting meat, sipping from a flask of spirits and musing on her good fortune.

The snap of twigs nearby drew her from her thoughts and she looked up to find herself faced with an unusual and rather alarming sight.

A wolf, larger than she'd ever seen, and tawny in color, was peering at her from behind a tree some distance away. Her first thought was to grab her sword, but there was a peculiar awareness in the beast's eyes as it watched her, as though measuring her up. Fae released her grasp on the handle of her sword and observed the animal in return for a long moment.

Some beasts of the realm were intelligent, Fae knew, and it was bad luck to treat them poorly. She wondered if this wolf might be one of those. The animal did not seem to be afraid of her, nor did it seem to have any intention of attacking her. It was regarding her roasting rabbits with particular interest, however, and Fae wondered if it was hungry.

To test her theory, she gestured to the rabbits and spoke directly to the wolf. “I've plenty if you'd like to share, friend.”

The wolf startled, as though Fae had done something rather unexpected. It continued to stare at her for another long moment before it disappeared behind the tree entirely.

Fae gave a soft “hmm” at this, a bit disappointed that the creature had gone. What a conversation she might have had with a wolf, she thought, provided it could speak with her. She supposed it was only a regular wolf after all, though it was a rather unusual wolf in appearance.

Her attention returned to the meal she was cooking, but a short time later, she was once again disturbed by the sound of someone or something approaching.

She was not surprised to once again find the red-colored wolf watching her from the edge of her camp. The beast had come a little closer this time and Fae saw, oddly enough, that this time she was accompanied by a slender, wild-haired woman.

At first, Fae took the woman for a human. She was of the right stature and build, but she was odd. Her clothing was scanty, consisting of tanned animal skins that she'd fashioned into a sparse outfit. Fae almost missed the fuzzy red ears hidden in her mass of tangled auburn hair, but the tail she also sported was more obvious.

“Oh, there's two of you now,” she remarked, and privately wondered how far her two coneys would go after all, but she was not one to turn away a hungry stranger. “It's alright if you'd like to eat with me.”

The wolf took a few hesitant steps forward, but the woman remained were she was. It was clear from the expression on her face that she did not trust Fae but she also looked very hungry. Fae could see that she seemed a bit undernourished, and her skin was littered in scratches and scrapes, probably from traveling in the woods with such a lack of attire.

What an odd individual, she thought to herself. Did the wolf belong to her? It truly did seem a rather special beast, especially now that she was getting a better look at it. Its golden eyes truly did convey a great intelligence and Fae found that she'd taken an instant liking to it.

“Let's get a bit for you then, shall we?” Fae cut a sizable portion from one of the coneys and offered it to the wolf, who sniffed it but did not take it. Instead, the animal panted and let its long tongue loll out of its mouth. A spark of amusement seemed to shine in its eyes, unless that was just a figment of Fae's imagination. “Not hungry?”

In response, the wolf licked its chops and Fae noticed that the area around its mouth was stained slightly red. It must have fed recently, then.

“What about your shadow over there?” she asked, gesturing to the woman who still kept her distance. The wolf glanced back at the woman and then at Fae once more, and it whined softly. “She's hungry isn't she? Poor thing.”

She ventured toward the woman, keeping her pace slow so as not to frighten her away. The woman shrank back but didn't bolt, just watched Fae approach with a guarded expression.

“There, there, Lady Shadow,” Fae murmured, holding out the meat in offering. “It's just some cooked rabbit. You can have it, no catch.”

The woman stared at the meat with undisguised hunger, though Fae could see her body was trembling with the urge to run. Finally, when Fae was near enough, the woman reached out with her left hand and snatched the meat. Fae could see that her right hand was held in a fist, as though she had some item she was trying to keep hold of.

After a quick sniff to make certain the meat was safe, the woman tore into it with all the elegance of a wolf her own self. The portion soon vanished and the woman looked to Fae in askance, her stomach growling.

“There's more,” Fae said, gesturing to her campfire. “Come over and sit with me. You're both welcome.”

Returning to her fire, Fae sat down and cut a piece of rabbit for herself, savoring the fresh meat. She wasn't the best hunter herself, so it wasn't often she got to enjoy game of this quality. While she ate, she kept an eye on her odd guests.

At last, the wolf came over to the fire and settled itself down like a huge dog, apparently assured that Fae was no threat to it. Fae observed this with a smile, which widened when she noticed that the woman had also ventured closer, though she was still keeping her distance.

Fae did not stare at the woman, but instead chose to direct her attention to the wolf.

“You're a strange one, aren't you?” she said to it. “I feel as though you can understand what I'm saying to you.”

The wolf grinned that somewhat frightening grin that only wolves and their kin are possessed of. Then her head bobbed, as though in a nod to confirm Fae's suspicion. This delighted Fae as she realized her fantasy of speaking with an intelligent wolf might be possible after all.

“And can you speak?” she asked it next, but was disappointed when it shook its head. It did, however, look over at the woman, who'd crept a little closer still.

The woman crouched down a short distance from the fire and stared at Fae with eyes that were, to Fae's surprise, nearly the same golden color as the eyes of the red wolf.

“She cannot speak common,” the woman said in a raspy voice. “Her name is Kael and she is my sister.”

She rolled her R's, as though she was growling them instead of speaking them.

“Ah, I see, what a lovely name. It's nice to meet you, Lady Kael.” Fae beamed at the wolf, who blinked at her in return, and then looked back at the woman. “And what are you called?”

“... Shadow is fine,” the woman replied after a moment's consideration. “My sister calls me Taeyel but I do not think I am Taeyel anymore.”

“Shadow it is, then,” said Fae. She understood the value of choosing one's own name. “I am Fae. I was called something else one too, but Fae is the name I prefer. Come over, I won't harm you. There are two rabbits here and I only need one. I've got a canteen of water as well, if you're thirsty.”

At last, Shadow seemed to reach the same conclusion her wolf sister had that Fae was safe, and she edged over to the wolf's side. She seemed to relax a great deal when her legs touched her sister's body, her bare feet resting against the wolf's thick pelt.

“How long has it been since you had a decent meal?” Fae asked as she took one of the rabbits and handed it over to the woman. She was quickly finding that Shadow was as intriguing in appearance as the wolf. Indeed, she shared similarities with Kael, as Shadow had called the wolf.. Her hair and the fur on her ears and tail were red, though they were a much darker shade than Kael's fur, but the ears were the same shape. Their eyes were nearly identical, even in the shape of their pupils. Shadow's eyes, Fae realized, were more responsible for her wild appearance than her unkempt hair and her pale, scarred skin.

Shadow's gaze was locked on the roasted carcass she held in her hands. “I've eaten fruits and nuts for many days now. I tried to partake in my sister's kills but the meat turns my stomach and makes me ill. This... This meat, you put it over the fire? Why?”

“I can't eat it raw, I can't digest it like a wolf can,” replied Fae. “I'm guess neither can you. I'm cooking it, you see. If it's cooked, it won't make you ill. But don't eat too much at once if you haven't had enough to eat for a while, that might make you ill as well. Eat it slowly and let it digest.”

“I see.” Shadow began to carefully bite strips from the coney, as though holding back the instinct to tear into it like a dog might do. She gnawed on a leg bone experimentally, and Fae arched a delicate eyebrow at the action.

“Pardon me for asking,” said Fae, “but would I be correct in assuming that up until recently you were a wolf yourself?”

Her companion gave her a sheepish smile, and her ears twitched. “Yes, I was a wolf. Now I am a human, I think, though... not completely, it would seem. I have gained the ability to speak the common tongue aloud as well. I could not tell you why, except that I was saved from a madness that overcame my body by a strange stone that I found.”

Shadow opened her right hand to show what she had been holding on to so desperately. It was a beautiful green crystal, and Fae found to her surprise that she had seen its make and shape before. She drew up her own own ragged sleeve to observe the silver bracelet she wore on her right forearm. The yellow crystal set into the metal cuff was indeed similar to Shadow's stone. They were very different in color, however, and Shadow's was not fashioned into jewelry, so Fae could not have said if they were from the same source.

The one that she wore, she'd found scavenging on the outskirts of Vana Vale. It was a fine piece of jewelry, if a bit plain for a fairy adornment, and she had often wondered why it had been abandoned. Despite its beauty, she also could not say why she had never sold it. She did not wear any other jewelry, except for the silver hoop in her ear, which she could not remove. It marked her as a banished fairy.

“You haven't any pockets, I see,” Fae remarked, wondering if Shadow carried the stone in her hand at all times. “Would you like something to keep it in?”

“I suppose,” Shadow replied, sounding a bit puzzled. She watched Fae tear a strip of cloth from her ragged dress and allowed the fairy to lean over and wrap it around her upper arm. She let Fae take the stone with a little reluctance, but relaxed when Fae secured it firmly to her arm with the fabric. “Thank you, this will make it easier to carry it.”

Fae nodded and drew back. “Of course. If I may ask, where are you and your sister traveling?”

“Nowhere in particular,” Shadow replied, and she went back to chewing on the rabbit carcass with great enthusiasm. Between mouthfuls of meat, she added, “Kael has been trying to find food for me. I did not know about 'cooking' the meat and I cannot make the fire like you can, either. I am only accustomed to being a wolf, you see, and I seem to be having trouble making the adjustment.”

“In that case, might you both consider traveling with me for a while?” Fae proposed. She liked the pair of them, and was of course intrigued by how they had both come into being in the first place. It almost felt as though she'd been destined to meet them, though she did not know if she believed in things such as destiny. “I've been cooking for myself a while now and I'm quite good at it, if I may say so. I'd not be opposed to some company on the road.”

Shadow and Kael locked eyes for a moment, as though they were having a silent conversation. Then Kael's tail began to wag, thumping against the ground, and Shadow looked at Fae again.

“Very well, we would be honored to join you,” the strange woman said and a grin spread across her face that eerily resembled the one her sister had worn earlier, and similarly revealed long, pointed canine teeth. “Where are you headed?”

“North, towards Vana Vale, the fairy city.” Fae gestured in the northern direction with the stick that held the remaining rabbit. “I wander back that way from time to time. Mostly, I am a vagrant. I travel here and there, offering my service as a swordsman in exchange for the goods I need, or lending a hand where I can. It's a simple life and I prefer it that way.”

“I have never seen a fairy before.” Shadow cocked her head to once side as she observed Fae with new curiosity. “You do not have wings?”

Fae's smile fell a bit but she shrugged and said, “I am an outcast fairy, and so I have been cut off from the communal magic of Vana Vale. Fairies do not have wings all of the time but with our magic, we can manifest them. I've never possessed any of the magic, so I've never had wings, no.”

“Outcast,” Shadow murmured. “I suppose that Kael and I are also outcasts. No, perhaps the word is... orphans? We are alone now.”

“Not anymore,” Fae reminded her, and her smile returned.

Shadow returned her smile, the flame of the campfire making her eyes glow strangely as the dark of the evening settled in on them. She was strange, for certain, but Fae was not afraid of her or of Kael. Her intuition told her they were no threat to her, and she had always been a good judge of character.

They were like her, Fae thought. They were alone and their appearances marked them as surely as Fae's silver earrings and fairy stature marked her. They would make good companions and Fae was certain that she and Shadow would have many more conversations after this one. It had been a long time since she'd last journeyed with another person and it was a relief to have someone to talk to.

As for that green crystal Shadow carried, Fae supposed it was coincidence that it so resembled her own. Likely, the two stones had nothing to do with one another. Still, it did seem odd, and she wondered, but did not ask, if Shadow's crystal had also glowed when she first touched it.

FIN